The Truth About Cats and Dogs in Black and White

Truth is just one person's reality. Here is mine in black and white (maybe some shades of gray). This blog has little to do with Cats or Dogs - just humourous sarcastic antics about my life or occasionally, someone else's. You know, intercepting volleyballs with my face, egg dropping, etc. The truth has seen some changes and in fluidity with change expect to see more artistic expressions posting up - so give your two cents worth!

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Dethroning attempt thwarted!


It has come to my attention that someone is trying to claim the throne as the king of the digital self-portrait. I can not let this dethroning attempt continue. It is a well-establish fact that the Queen of Silly Jilly wears that crown. The evidence supporting such a claim is provided below.








Additional supporting documents may be found at:

Monday, February 27, 2006

Are we really surprised? I think not.


You are a Black Coffee

At your best, you are: low maintenance, friendly, and adaptable

At your worst, you are: cheap and angsty

You drink coffee when: you can get your hands on it

Your caffeine addiction level: high
What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Sunday, February 26, 2006

How odd is this?


You Are Austin

A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll.
You're totally weird and very proud of it.
Artistic and freaky, you still seem to fit in... in your own strange way.

Famous Austin residents: Lance Armstrong, Sandra Bullock, Andy Roddick
What American City Are You?

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Injustice to post-secondary curling fans


There are rumblings in the underground. Curling, a sport that keeps me on the edge of my seat. The Olympic Final less than 24 hours away. The Minister of Education, hero to grade schools across the province. Brad, Jamie, Mark, Russ, and Mike - making Olympic history. Jill, giving a seminar on social science and national parks. Where is our minister of justice? Where is our half a day off. Outrage. Revolt is coming.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

How d'ya like d'em apples?


I am alive and plugging away, maybe slugging away, is a more accurate portrayal of my progress. I have been looking for funny park cartoons to break up the boring monotone of my vocal delivery. We all know National Parks are nothing more than nature's holding cells; perfectly good timber, abundant minerals, wild game, and oil and gas, thoughtfully protected for future generations of resource consumption.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Don't Panic!


I have a big presentation this Friday, so it would seem that my intellectual efforts and creative brilliance are best funnelled into preparations for the big too-doo. Please feel free to wallow in the absence of my sarcastic witty antics and if you must, feel free to leave snarky comments, particularly if they will make me laugh in the midst of my anguish and frustration. I will try to sneak in a post to update you on my progress. If it looks like part of a presentation, I apologise, but sometimes multi-tasking is imperative. Yes, so the cartoon. The difference between Neomalthusians and Cornucopians is not always so black and white. And I am a conservationist.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Wanna Pee in your Pants?


You gotta check this video out! Go to everyone's a critic for piss-the-pants entertainment!
Internet-is-for-Porn.html

The things I love - The final episode


Number 11. Newfoundland. A unique ensemble of culture, rhetoric, & unrivaled, rugged, natural beauty. Newfoundland is the most eastern province of Newfoundland and often the muse for Canadian humour. Visitors rant about the warm nature of our people and the beauty of our landscape. According to this, pre-GIS map, I live somewhere around the "I" in Library. Our island is not what you would call tropical but we don't live in Igloos either, just in case you are one of "those." We are known for our unique biogeography, geological features, consumption of rum and various other alcohols, folk music, oddball politicians (who doesn't) & now curlers! Home. I love you!

Number 12. Art. Art in all it guises is the purest form of expression. The lotus, again, a symbol of purity and perfection is an acrylic on canvas, the first of my dabblings with this media. Of course, most frequently you can spot me with my SLR digital camera. And once upon a time I was a dancer, ballet-I know had to believe. Art, I love you.

Number 13. Friends. I am lucky for the truly beautiful people in my life. Friends, old & new, make life grand. They make shoulders to cry on, partners in crime, travelling companions, roomates, rocks. I have neglected them a little lately but with good reason. My career and stupid thesis keep me from spending as much time with them as I would like but that they are thought of often and with much love. Friends, I love you.

Number 14. The Great Outdoors. The muse for my existence. I work & live; breathe for nature. It is who I am & it is as much a part of me as I am of it. The campfire. Perhaps not the most natural of outdoor images but fire is as much a part of nature as the air, wind, & water; marshmallows as much of the outdoor experience as my canoe, snowshoes, or hiking boots. Mother Earth, I love you.

A select few loves barely escaped the list but belong on it. A certain 3-letter word comes to mind. But come on now lads I'm trying to keep this g-rated. Yet another 3-letter word somewhat necessary for the first, however, was eliminated due to the current swing towards the hate spectrum of the love-hate relationship. Ha! It's like a riddle. I hate riddles.

Honourable mentions: I love cacao and honey dijon kettle chips. I love sport. I love Jude Law. I love Canada. I love accessories. I love organising things and labels. I love Barbie. I love scrapbooking. I love cosmopolitans. I love boats and hamocks. I love dancing. I love sunshine and beaches.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The things I love - Episode 3


Number 7. My Computer. Well computers really. I mean how could I write all my A+ papers or run all those complicated statistical analyses? How could I do my taxes on time or remember phone numbers and addresses? (you see this deteriorating already) How could I check my my blog, nation's tax rate, the Olympic highlights, e-mail, or how many people I'm connected to on Hi5? And let's not forget flash games and great buys on ebay? Computer, I love you.


Number 8. Lost and Grey's Anatomy. It has been quite a while since a TV program has won my heart. Since "Friends" I have been in TV hell, one flop after another. This year 2 have broken my heartache. Nicely spaced through my week, Lost and Grey's Anatomy keep me entertained. Lost, as the title suggests, keeps my mind wandering, while Grey keeps me laughing... except for the whole pink dust thing. TV, I love you again.


Number 9. Music. The world would be a sad place without the beauty of music. This is my prize possession, the leftie ovation guitar. I like the rounded back as it fits like a glove and it is very lightweight. Its acoustic sound isn't quite that of my seagull but plugged in it has breathtaking sound. I sing mostly though, not extremely confident in my strumming. Music is an integral part of Newfoundland culture and it's hard to come by someone who doesn't play something or 5 somethings. I'm a music generalist, craving everything from jazz to indie alternative. Music, I love you.

Number 10. Buddha. The reincarnation of Sidharta Gautama, remains isomorphic with compassion, peace, and tolerance. Here he is seen sitting in meditation atop the lotus flower, a symbol of perfection, purity, and peace. Like a growing number of westeners, I am finding my own spiritual path and embracing the diversity that makes our world such a compassionate, colourful place. As many, I have an interest in many eastern-inspired ideas and tangibles. Om mani padme hum. Buddha, I love you.

Only 4 more to go...this is harder than you think!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The things I love - Episode 2.


Number 4. Sleep. I do have the most comfortable bed in the galaxy, this is often extremely counterproductive as my morning prowness is somewhat less than desired. I do have the most vivid bizarre dreams on record ranging from dancing little devils in the image of the red grateful dead bear to soaring to running to candy shops to mysterious lagoons at the the top of my grandparents stairs to babies to...you get the point. Sleep, I love you.


Number 5. Sexy Charismatic Mega-Fauna. In particular, the Canadian Lynx but Wolves and Bears (Oh my!) score high as well. I mean all good things are fuzzy and have 4 legs right? Down with legless slimy herps! I actually have frequent dreams about Lynx as well, some fuzzy, some not so fuzzy. Infatuation, why yes, it is. SCM, I love you.


Number 6. Coffee. I even have a silly coffee song. Lattes rank high on my list of preferred caffeinated beverages, cappuccinos rank a close second. I'm not that picky, if pushed to desperation I would m-wave the oldest, coldest coffee. In Canada, we have Tim's on our corners; we only have one Starbucks in the entire city and while many are resistant to abandon the hometown hockey hero's franchise, Starbucks has a far superior product. If you want premium java, Coffee & Co. is the only way to go. I tend to brew my own blend of free-trade beans or "imports" from Vail Mountain Roasters. Coffee, I love you.

The Token Valentine's Day Post - Episode 1


Before jumping, more like a sloth-like glide really, into the statistics that is on my schedule for today, I have decided to get episode one of the the inevitable VD rumblings out of the way. We all know that I am romantically hopeless and think VD is an supra-commericialised ploy to lure greedy consumerists into candy shops, flower shops, card shops, etc. But instead of writing a bitter list of the reasons I loathe this stupid day I am going to provide a list of my 14 loves to honour the occasion. Here are the first 3:

Number 1: My family. Isn't this what life is about? Ok, well biologically speaking, the purpose of life is procreation. Humanity has done well in that regard. Metaphysically speaking, life is about happiness & spiritual purpose. I'll let others do the procreating for now, (valentineless, not that the biological cogs have set themselves in motion). These cuties aren't mine but they could pass for my offspring. Thanks Mom & Dad for free rent while I finish my thesis. Thanks Mark & Kim for moving to the Ski State, enabling me to learn to ski & free lodging. Family, I love you.


Number 2: My Cat. I've told you about her, the picture says it all. She once thought it would be good idea to smell a burning candle & caught her whiskers on fire. It slowly burned toward her face like a cartoon dynamite wick. She didn't explode but she was a little ashamed. Pablo, I love You.


Number 3: Cheerios. How can you go wrong? It's a complete breakfast. And now that I have decided to let carbs back into my life, it's a safety net. My former roomates and I had quite a thing for them. All of them. At one time, there were 6 varieties on the counter: apple cinnamon, frosted, multi-grain, berry burst, and good ole plain. Apple Cinnamon takes the cake. Cheerios, I love you.

The Truth about Cats and Dogs makes 500!


You wouldn't know it as the blog patrol site has been undergoing maintenance for like a week now. What's that all about? I can't even spy on your IP addresses and find out where in the world my visitors are from! I can't even confirm who number 500 was but I suspect it was the critic at 11:45 am on Monday, fitting as I did introduce her to blogging. And of course, blog patrol whom seemed to take a holiday last week wasn't counting but we will go with it anyway. It is sad, the apparent false comfort of anonymity. Thanks for visiting first 500 (although we know that 90 percent of those hits are really made of by me, the critic, the cool cat, the sassy NC girl, and the infamous Brit and various family members). You still count in my books!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Resistant strain of CPS: Pandemic outbreak


I am slowly recovering from a blogging drought. I see a pattern... could it be pure coincidence that this drought coincides with the onset of the Olympic games? That's right! It's that time again. The time when a select few of our most elite athletes duke it out over the Olympic Gold while the rest of us duke it out over the best spot on the couch. I always found it hopelessly ironic that international excellence in sport coincides with international coach potato syndrome (CPS). The ceremonies were of course spectacular. I mean what is the Olympics about if not luxury cars, supermodels, and fireworks. Throw in a burly opera tenor and you got a show! Okay, Okay, Let's recap. We are moving into day 2, so let's have a look at my highlights so far...
  1. 8 women carried the Olympic Flag.
  2. Korea entered the Stadio Olympico as a unified country and hope to compete that way in Bejing in 2008.
  3. A female carried the flag of China.
  4. Jennifer Heil won gold for Canada in the Freestyle Skiing.
  5. Klassen captures a bronze in the 3000m speed skate.

And now here are a few other observations. I can't really say that the international slaughter of women's hockey teams is one of my highlights. Its almost cruel. Canada trounced on the Italians 16-0 but what did you expect? 60,000 women play hockey in Canada. 300 play in Italy. They even had a defensive player who is 5 foot 1, 112 pounds. Monternari was outstanding in Goal, standing at 5 foot 3 and 128 pounds. This competition can only improve as teams are able to get better competition play. Canada then took it to the Russians with a 12-0 win.

Second observation. Some of these sports are just cruel and unusual forms of self-loathing, they must be. Why would any sane person hurl themselves straightdown the side of a mountain as fast as humanly possible or delve face first down a slide of ice on a glorified sled faster than highway traffic? Can you say death wish? And think about, who actually invented some of these sports? One day sat down and said, hey, I think skating around in circles for 3000m with crazy sharp blades on my feet would make a good competitive sport. God love sport and the crazy people who play along!

Good luck to Brad and the boys who play in, ooh, 4 hours. Guess what I'm doing tomorrow afternoon?

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Misadventures on George


A quick word about the misadventures of the parkies. Saturday was a night like many others on George. Poor snow clearing made it reminiscent of a night that I was thrown into a snowbank by a random guy, we love our random guys, but this one, mistook me for someone else. Both stunned by our misfortunate he quickly graced me with his presence in the snowbank. And by graced I mean fell vicitim to a tackle that would make any NFLer proud. Ok, ok, but Saturday night. Who would have thought a impromtu pubcrawl would be such a difficult event to organise. Highlight. Elvis is alive and living in Shea Heights. Lowlight. Etomik bites. Highlight. the White Russian Con - success. Lowlight. -9 degree celcius. Highlight. The flattering cab driver "I wouldn't say I had anyone over 24 in my cab." Lowlight. Costa not making the big steal. Highlight. Krista's birthday dance with the barminder at Trappers. Lowlight. Etomik sucks ass so much it has to count twice. Highlight. Lottidottir. Lowlight. Smelly smelly bars. Highlight. The cocobutter bathroom with daisy tiles. Lowlight. The 5 secs we stood in Kelly's. Highlight. Sleeping. Lowlight. sleeping with contacts and crown jewels in. Now, Tracy, where is your close up? How did you get away with all normal pictures? Unacceptable.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

What do you call a Dino that loves Stats?


A statasaurus of course. And obviously they are only in it for the goats. First, I must thank the cartoonist. I totally rogued this off the internet. I spent part of my day in a meeting with my statistician. It transpired as well as expected - it is stats after all. If only my stats trouble revolved around goats and probabilities.

The meeting began with the usual interrogation.

Q: Did you standardise your data?
A: Standardise? Doesn't the PCA do that for you? (To self: That would be a no)

Q. You tested for univariate outliers. Did you test for multivariate outliers?
A: (To self: I did?) Ah...no? (wait for it wait for it) what exactly is the difference? (Bloody hell! Is he speaking english?)

Q. Did you find any univariate outliers?
A. Outloud: Uhm...honestly I have no idea.

Prognosis:
  • Recode dependent variable in 2 data files.
  • Standardise all ordinal and interval data ~ 200 variables.
  • Run linear regression to find Mahalanobis distances for each of 4 data sets and find Chi square values for each sets' df.
  • Rerun Principal Component Analysis (PCA) using the standardised data set.
  • Rerun PCA by selecting only those cases whose z scores are less than the Chi square (thus eliminating multivariate outliers.
  • Compare the KMO and determinate values for both PCA's to determine if the outliers influence the components.
  • Check the anti-image for something which I can't remember.
  • Check the rotated component matrix for redundancy amongst variables and check for clearly definated components.
  • Schedule another meeting with statistician.

Perfectly straightforward, yes? Well such is my day tomorrow. No wonder the bloody dinosaurs went extinct! Oh, what I would give for a goat!

Monday, February 06, 2006

She Sells Seashells by the Seashore


My Seashell has finally made plans to visit...again. The first day we met we were instantly the best of friends and was the day I began calling her Seashell. It was during "Let's get Rec'd" the 1995 Recreation Class Orientation. We played this silly game, the first of many during our recreation days, where we introduced ourselves using an adjective infront of our name. Seashell was hers. And after Jill 2, Jen, Jess, Jess 2, etc. stole jumping, jumping jack, jolly, and juggling, etc. I ended up Jousting Jill. That one didn't stick like Seashell.

It didn't take long for people to recognise us as the dynamic duo, joined at the hip. If I was dancing on the stage at the 'Vil Seashell was there next to me. If Seashell was lying in the parking lot of the Axe, I was there lying next to her. If I was changing in front of surveillance cameras in Halifax parking garages, Seashell was too. If Seashell painted her face and drove into a snowbank on the way to CIAU's, then I was there right next to her. When our neighbours unleashed their pet ferret into our apartment, well no, actually I wasn't there because I was spending too much time at my boy's apartment, whom you guessed it, Seashell set me up with. Hmmm...remind me to nag her about that one.

Any hoo...3 generations of Seashells are coming to visit in May. I will get to meet Josie! Now... I have to figure out why I suddenly have no e-mail account. Grrr. This might mean showering and making my way to the university.

Friday, February 03, 2006

S.A.D. Claims One - More Feared to Fall Victim


Seasonal Affective Disorder is on a rampage. It comes every year around the same time and sucks out the energy and life force of every commoner in its evil path. This week S.A.D. brought 50 cm of snow on our modest-sized city. This basement dweller feels more like a prisoner locked up in the dungeon by the evil Empress S.A.D. except instead of windows with lovely steel bars that you can at least peer through, there is a solid wall of ice. I was already leaning towards eccentric recluse writer surrounded by cats but now one must have an incredulously good reason to venture outside the gloomy fortress. Wiped of all optimism and energy how should one find the motivation to exercise, work, study. The slate of such ambition is wiped clean by the sins of gluttony and sloth. The only good thing is that it is Friday, as if that means anything to someone who is now a week behind schedule. And it is sunny so some light, not much, can penetrate through the ice wall into the room. By next week we will begin construction of the arc as the temperatures in direct sunlight are in excess of 10 degrees Celcius. Spring like temperatures are expected to continue into next week. Flooding inevitable. Motivation where are you? In the words of wise Mel (borrowed from film) FoKus, FoKuss people FoKus.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Take the Dragon by the Horns!


I fear I have lost my touch. For the sake of posting I have resorted to some sad cut and paste rantings about my fire-breathing tendencies. I promise this one is a ranting of a different sort. I am, however, (breathe-deeply) returning to the astrological theme. I was curious as to what might happen when east meets west. In the eastern zodiac, I am basically restricted to looking for rats and monkeys, completely stirring up my avoidance of "the western rat," luckily I am still strongly advised to stay clear of dogs. More man-hater nonsense, I know, it just seems they all (they being men, men being boys) have rat and dog like traits, which subsequently are decontructed by this new eastern insight. I also avoid snakes...just because I have a serious problem with legless fauna. So Chinese Astrology affords me 4 realistic soul mates, the turning-22 wood rat, the turning-26 metal monkey, the turning-34 water rat or the turning-38 earth monkey. But what about good ol' Taurus? So I found this site, in my endless procrastination called double sign.

www.doublesign.com

The Dragon/Taurus isn't out to win any popularity contests, which is for the best since you are out to win just about everything else. The placid Bull is energized by the zest of the Dragon into putting his work ethic into full-steam-ahead mode. This means twice as much, twice as fast -- but watch you don't burn out the motor overnight!
You play your heart's cards close to your vest, but inside you're a seething ocean of unrequited love. If you could ever manage to make satisfying personal contact with a like-minded individual you'd fall hook, line and sinker, but given your busy schedule, chances are you won't have the opportunity to find out what unadulterated passion tastes like, unless you pencil it into your personal planner ahead of time.

This is almost "pee in my pants" funny. Almost. It is cosmically perfect. You see, I am that competitative and I certainly do like to win. Now I am going through a bit of a slow spurt at the moment, besides the free-flowing procrastination but generally (hopefully soon) there is an exact moment when all systems are go. All nighters are common. I am indeed a seething ocean of unrequited love, infact I could not have put it better. If only you knew about every Tom, Dick, and Harry who has broken my heart...hmmm...I actually knew a Tom, Dick, and Harry once upon a time in a social circle long, long ago. It was utterly destroyed by unrequited love, well not quite love, work with me here. I am of course a bit of a catch so I suppose there is hope for me to fall hook, line, and sinker (so dry I need water). I do invest most of my time and energy in my work and education and have trouble recalling what is meant by unadulterated passion. If you have read my "to do" list for February you will not be surpirsed that social commitments are actually pencilled into to my personal planner. BULLSEYE.

Just one more tidbit of information. When meshing your eastern and western zodiacs you must account for both preferences, adding yet another search criteria. The new personal add now reads:

Taurean Fire Dragon searching for its cosmic mate. Must be a wood rat, earth monkey, water rat, or metal monkey. If you are not a Virgo or a Capricorn do not apply as other matches will surely fail and be ultimately unpleasurable. Preference will be given to those easy on the eyes and intelligent.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Brits are Blog-ERRIFIC!


It seems an exorbitant amount of my visitors call the Great Isles Home. So I figured they deserved a little toast. You see, I am a 9th generation Newfoundlander and born a Canadian. My parents however witnessed confederation and I suppose were technically born Brits, as Newfoundland was at one time claimed for England (and France at a point, but that is a history lesson which I shall not give). My ancestors, like most, immigrated from Britain in the early 1700's from the areas of Buckinghamshire and Cambridge. Rumour has it my father's photography hangs in the City Hall at Poole and my mother kept a scrapbook of news clippings and royal paraphernalia.

Yes Newfoundland, you may say, is Little Britain. Full of Irish Catholics, English Protestants and everyone in between. And of course they are devout tea drinkers...and well some just devout drinkers. I mean look at the traditional flag of the Republic of Newfoundland, looks a little familiar me thinks (Aside: they are trying to replace the current flag with the green, white, and pink...hmmm...I can't offhand think of any flags with pink in them).

But this is a toast to Brits. And why you ask should we toast Scots, Irishmen, and Brits? Well for several reasons.
  1. Home to Irish writer Marian Keyes, comedienne extraordinaire.
  2. Home to may absolute favourite singer/songwriter of the moment Damien Rice.
  3. Hugh Laurie...Loves him!
  4. Keeping on the topic of music we also have the Beatles, U2, Coldplay, Elton John, and the Darkness.
  5. Renowned for double-decker buses adorned in cadmium red, may they rest in peace.
  6. Home of Scotland Yard and those precious little hats.
  7. Maker of great cars - Austin Healey, Aston Martin, Mini Cooper (Aside: all popular surnames in Newfoundland).
  8. The have the sexiest little accents.
  9. Home to my favourite person on earth, Jude Law. Ok slightly exaggerated, but not much.
  10. They reared some of my favourite talents - the aforementioned Jude Law, the hilarious Hugh Grant, Ewan McGreggor, The fabulous muse for my Peary Caribou voice, Sean Connery, Sir Michael Caines, Orlando Bloom, and Ben Kingsley.
  11. I have not forgotten about leading women - Rachel Weisz, Dame Judi Dench (who filmed The Shipping News in Newfoundland), Kate Beckinsale, and the lovelly Keira Knightly.
  12. Should we talk sports? Hello. Britain gave the world David Beckham, I don't think we need to say anymore than that.
  13. Guiness, which we have adopted as the unofficial provincial pint (although I personally can not stomach dark ales ACK! I was once bought this dark india ale at the Blue Catfish or something... oh nevermind, tangent avoided).
  14. They gave us Cornation Street. Newfoundlanders discuss these poor characters as if they were their own flesh and blood.
  15. There is nothing as funny as British humour. I have already alluded to literature but then there is film: The Van, Fever Pitch, The Full Monty, Waking Ned Devine, Monty Python.
  16. And of course there is classic literature but I am not qualified to review such goings on. These should be obvious genius such as Shakespeare, Wilde, and Dickens.
  17. And naturally, classic film: Lawrence of Arabia, Doctor Zhivago, Bridge on the River Kwai, Clockwork Orange (which I found apalling and disturbing, as was meant) and one of my old favourites - Born Free, except for the beginning where someone gets eaten by a Lion, From Russia With Love, Gandhi, and various interpretations of great literature (see # 16).

And that is why I love the Great Isles. To Blog-errific Brits! Here Here!