The Truth About Cats and Dogs in Black and White

Truth is just one person's reality. Here is mine in black and white (maybe some shades of gray). This blog has little to do with Cats or Dogs - just humourous sarcastic antics about my life or occasionally, someone else's. You know, intercepting volleyballs with my face, egg dropping, etc. The truth has seen some changes and in fluidity with change expect to see more artistic expressions posting up - so give your two cents worth!

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Employee for Rent


This has been a direly uneventful week. The only thing I really have to report is my general disapproval of cover letters - stressful, full of stretches and exaggerations (for some outright lies), and it is like prostitution, in an equally indignified yet nonsexual manner. Sell myself. That's what people tell you. Well what is the going price on a good, strong, intelligent lass, from Newfoundland? Should I subscribe to a bartering system, take the first offer, or wait for a better offer? Cover Letter - the red book of self-capitalism. My favourite is the government job application.

Dear Human Resources,

I am a Canadian Citizen. I am woman. Me Speak english. Have driver's licence, one outstanding parking ticket. My favourite colour is burnt sienna.... blah blah blah

I mean, how many guys do you know named Jill? Is it not apparent that I chose to write in english, and that it is clearly stated on the application form accompanying my 13 pages of application materials? Canadian Citizen... information promptly available on the application form...

Really, it is a full-time job just applying for a damn job. This week I spent a total of 3 days writing, editing, re-writing and re-editing two, just two cover letters. I am considering simply placing an ad in amongst the business section...

For Sale: One tall and sarcastic potential employee, gracefully turning 30, and utterly digusted by job applications. Motivated, intelligent, and makes superb coffee. Apply within.
Unknown 2:25 p.m.
Comments...

Your coffee truly is excellent. If you ever need a reference for that...let me know. Mine on the other hand could use a little work.

And all that cover letter work has got to pan out.

posted by Blogger Laurie Roche : 3:39 p.m.  

Thanks L'il Lar La

I am drinking some quality java as I type...well between typing really. However, I am now attempted to drink half and half. Creating my own brew of 1/2 verona decaf from starbucks and 1/2 bridgestreet blend from Vail Mountain Roasters. Simply Marvelous. Genius really. Must curb this caffeine dependency, at least somewhat.

posted by Blogger Unknown : 3:56 p.m.  

Curbing....impossible.

I keep trying and keep failing miserably. So I say...why try? Just go with it.

By the way I may have had a pint not long ago so apologies if this makes absolutely no sense.

posted by Blogger Laurie Roche : 2:29 a.m.  


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